also finished reading "Catcher in the Rye"
i reckon every male should read it. no offence to females... by all means they should read it and express an opinion... but i reckon it says something about guys in particular... the way they think.... the way most think.... ok... so the way i think...
Holden possesses the quintessential male immaturity in the way he thinks and imagines situations. i cacked myself when he pretended he was shot in the gut and limped into his hotel room, bleeding all over the place... because ive done that as well... . what is that... a subconscious desire for martyrdom? noble suffering? theres a pyschological condition for that right?
his struggle against "phonies" and his search for meaningful relationships, i reckon, closely mirrors the inability for males these days to form close relationships with either gender, because of the perceived inuendo of sexual relations. its become almost natural for people these days to jump to the conclusion that a male and female are "involved" if they hang out a bit or talk by themselves too often. even Christians are guilty of this... especially Christians because they're concerned with being blameless at all times...
its just sad that the byproduct of this cautiousness is loneliness...
holden reacts somewhat irrationally sometimes, but i think it reflects his need to react truely. strip away the red tape of convention and politeness and react the way you feel. under restraint can be bad however, but so too can over restraint.
when my dad passed away i didnt feel a thing... really... i distinctly remember the morning of the funeral... i felt bad about not crying... cause my mum and sister were. i knew i should be sad... but i didnt feel anything...
a year later... my sister borrowed one of my favourite jumpers... after i asked her not to... and i went nuts... like totally balistic!! i screamed my head off at her... lots and lots of rude words... etc...
afterwards i went to apologise... and we started talking... and somehow dad came up... and i couldnt stop crying.... it was nuts... all this pent up emotion came hurtling out... i dunno what that means... but it felt a lot better after....
this played a huge part in me becoming a Christian...
but thats another story...
i need sugar... brain is hungry...